Jack and the Beanstalk

Once upon a time was a boy named Jack
Who Lived with his ma in a straw house shack
Jack and his ma couldn't buy their food
So Jack took the cow to the neighborhood

Well Jack met a man of sufficient means
Had a deal for him - the cow for magic beans
Magic was a thing that sounded good to Jack
So he traded for the beans and he never looked back

He showed the beans to his ma that night
But she got real mad and was real uptight
She threw 'em out the window and they lay on the ground
While Jack went to bed with no food around

When the sun went down magic started to work
And up from the ground sprouts burst with a jerk
A bean stalk grew way way up high
When the sun came up it was up to the sky.

Well Jack woke up and he saw that stalk
And 'round and around he began to walk
He said to his ma, “I'm gonna climb that thing
Gotta see up there what my luck will bring"

So up Jack climbed till he reached the top
When he got up there it was quite a shock
To see a castle tall in the clouds up there
Floating way up high in the clean crisp air

Then he walked right up to the great big door
And pushed on it so he could see some more
He snuck right in to the house so large
And he looked around to find out who's in charge

Then out came a gal six times his size
She looked right down with her great big eyes
'Said “You better get hid 'fore it's way too late
Cause my Hubbie's comin' home and his dinner hasn't ate

So Jack climbed up in the oven he got
And was hiding in there 'cause it wasn't hot
He peeked out through where the door was cracked
When a giant stomped in and his food attacked

Well the giant yelled out “Fee Fi Fo Fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he alive or be he dead
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.”

“Aw, you're just bein' silly” said his great big wife
"There's some food on the table you can cut with a knife"
So the giant ate his fill then he fell in a heap
Right there on the table in a deep deep sleep

Layin' next to him it was really kinda funny
Were some golden coins he was countin' for his money
Then Jack jumped out of the oven real quick
Grabbed a few gold coins and took off lickety split

He ran to the beanstalk, then climbed down
Gave the coins to his ma standin' there on the ground
Told her all that was in the sky up there
And the story he told gave her quite a big scare

Well, it didn't take long for that boy named Jack
To get a hankerin' notion and a want to go back
So up he climbed on the big beanstalk
To the castle of the giant he did take a walk

This time Jack in the closet he hid
And was watchin to see what the giant did
The big guy walked inside with a hen
That laid golden eggs every now and then

Then the giant called out “Fe, fi, fo, fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he alive or be he dead
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.”

But the giant got tired and his eyes closed too
So then Jack jumped out and he took a few
Of the eggs laid here and there right then
Then Jack grabbed hold of the gold egg hen

Quick he hustled off to the stalk of bean
Being very very sure to make his getaway clean
He climbed way down from the stalk real quick
And carried to his ma the big golden egg chick

His ma was glad to see her boy come home
And she hoped he'd stay 'stead of wantin' to roam
But it was not to be, it was not the case
'Cause Jack got the urge to see the giant's place

One day he got up, he was feelin' real fine
So he climbed up the stalk again just one more time
In the closet he hid real quiet in the dark
And he waited right there for the giant to embark.

So the giant comes out and he sits right down
Then sets down a harp with a musical sound
The thing plays itself and then sings along
And the giant likes the sound of the magic harp's song

He likes it so well that he starts to weep
Then he lays down his head and drifts off to sleep
Now Jack creeps out and he thinks he's pretty sharp
So he sneaks right up and grabs a-hold of that harp

But the harp cried out and the giant awoke
So Jack starts a runnin' with a pretty fast stroke
The giant gets up and a goin' with a run
Gonna catch that boy and the chase has just begun

Sayin' “Hey there boy, Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum”
I smell your blood, you're the Englishman
Now you're alive, but you're gonna be he dead
I'm gonna grind your bones to make my bread.”

Now Jack's runnin' hard, goin' fast to the stalk
And the giant's right behind, with his Fo, Fum talk
Jack climbs down fast, goin' hard to the ground
Callin' out to his ma to bring the axe around

Then down jumped Jack, grabbed the axe from his ma
And the axe did its work and at the stalk did gnaw
And down from the sky fell that great big plant
With the giant tryin' to hold on the trunk but can't

So the giant fell off with a terrible sound
And made a great big hole a hundred feet around
So the giant was dead and the mom and Jack
Lived hap'ly ever after in their cozy little shack.